Thankfully, not with consuming it.
Anymore.

^Please excuse the clothes. It was for a dance routine.

^Not my heaviest, but still undeniably heavy for my small frame.

^Dad and Me, a couple summers ago.

Back then, food meant comfort. A cure for boredom. An easy way to achieve instant pleasure.
I stand at 4 foot 11 inches. Although I’m not sure of my exact weight in those pictures, I know I weighed less than I did at my heaviest. I tended to shy away from the camera at that point in my life.
My heaviest was 195 pounds, a weight I hope to never reach again.
Not because I think being fat is ugly , but rather because I was unhealthy.

I took this following picture this morning, not realizing how far I have truly made it.

I will never be skinny. It’s not in my structure. I mean, look at my legs. They’re muscular as all get out. And so are my arms. I take after my wonderful parents, both of whom are very muscular. (My mom, as a side note, is 5 foot 2 and skinny to boot, but her arm muscles and the strength that accompanies them could rival anyone - man or woman - larger than her).

But I will be healthy. I am healthy. I’m unashamed of my weight anymore, so I don’t mind revealing that I’m currently sitting at 146 pounds.
146, at 4 foot 11? Isn’t that considered nearly obese according to the BMI scale?
Yes, it is. I don’t think I look obese, though. Not anymore.

I have become obsessed with food, obsessed with nutrition and its affects on my body.
I no longer strive to be 120 pounds, but rather to have a good cardiovascular system despite my family history. To have a well-functioning pulmonary and digestive systems. Reproductive, endocrine, neurological, muscular, skeletal.
Everything.

How?
By eating the right foods, choosing fruit, avoiding fast food, not eating french fries, learning to enjoy all vegetables, developing a deep love for whole grains. By walking to class and the post office and the dollar store, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, parking further from store entrances. By reading up on new nutrition science instead of sitting on facebook, by following health blogs instead of celebrity gossip blogs.
Little changes like those have revolutionized my body’s health and appearance.

As an inevitable consequence, my self-esteem has dramatically increased. Not because I am 50 pounds lighter. Anyone who knows me personally knows that I view myself as about 30 pounds heavier than I actually am. So, my self-esteem boost has little to do with my body image.
It has more to do with the fact that I have changed myself completely, all due to my own will power and effort. Such a great accomplishment is a sure way to raise your self-respect.

And now I’ve ranted and can’t remember where I was initially going with this.
The only thing I can recall about my initial intentions is that

1. I love food. For its benefits, for its beauty, for its incredible taste when it isn’t dripping in oil or saturated by sugar.
2. I love the power that food has.
3. I love creating my own food creations.
4. And I love that such a weird obsession has changed my world.

Wear make-up.

All natural, baby.
Baby Kyla, for real reppin’ her name.

Broso and Me. Bein’ weird.

Mama, me, and Dad.
They’re so dark. I’m so pale.

chugging pint cans of Bud Light by myself so I can walk downtown and go into a bar to wait for my friends without feeling out of place.

#fail.
I need to go out more.

Not to mention, wearing an un-hooded sweatshirt. 90s?